Looking for Alaska: Never Stop Looking
by manda494949
Summary: An extension of the novel by John Green. This was an assignment for a University English class I am taking. I have never written a fanfiction before. Feedback on this platform is not necessary!


**Fan Fiction Assignment: Looking for Alaska** Sept 2018

The first week back at school was surreal. Nobody spoke about it. Although, not many people have heard as of yet but, I know the gossip will spread fast. Alaska Young, an amazing creature gone forever. She was absolutely mesmerizing to the eyes and the heart. Thinking about her makes my hands shake, as if my mind has neglected to tell them she is gone and they are still searching for her. The Colonel hasn't spoken to me in days and Takumi hasn't spoken to anyone. I have come out of my room only twice since the accident, once to go to class but, I left partway through, and once to try and do laundry. I regretted doing the laundry instantly though, since Alaska's scent still lingered on my sheets and I couldn't bear to lose it quite so soon. I'm struggling. They told me she died on impact but, this can't be. It felt like a dream, some evil being teasing and taunting my emotions. I know my Alaska and part of me wonders if, somehow, it wasn't her in the car. Is she still alive? If she were still alive I doubt I'd ever find out sitting around staying on campus. Alaska would never return here again. I felt like I had to set out to find her on my own.

The next morning, I packed a bag with some t-shirts, a pair of shorts and some clean underwear. I grabbed a bag of chips and a bottle of water, along with some change in hope of getting to the payphone before anyone wakes up. I shoved my hand into a stale box of FrootLoops and pulled out a fist full of my nutritious breakfast for the day. I locked my door and headed down the hall working up as much courage as I could muster, the courage I needed to leave. I thought about telling at least Takumi about my plan but I knew it would be best to keep quiet. For all I knew Takumi and The Colonel had the same idea and I'd be meeting up with them soon enough.

I try on a pair of sunglasses I know she would like. She. Alaska. The center of my painfully screwed-up universe. I don't know if I'll ever make it back to campus. I can see myself living a promising career as a truck-stop attendee.

"Can I help you?" I turn to see a short cherry-maned girl staring up at me with a well-manicured smile.

"No thanks, I'm just killing time."

"Waiting for your parents, girlfriend, or…?"

"Yes, girlfriend. She's just using the restroom." I'm quick to answer.

"You mean the one at the diner? We don't have one here if she's looking."

"Yes, I mean that one."

"Alright, well my names Lucy if you need anything give me or Bruce a shout." She points to an old man behind the counter with a grey beard who is obviously half asleep.

"Great, thanks." I look around a bit more trying to bide time looking through refrigerator magnets. I search through the list of A's. Alanna…Allison…Alicia. Of course, I knew it wouldn't be there but, if looking for her here is even slightly easier than finding her in the real world I'll try for hours.

"We do them custom as well."

"What?"

"We can customize if you want. You don't seem to be finding what you're looking for."

"I'm just looking. Thanks."

"Okay. Who're you looking for?"

"Excuse me?"

"The magnets… what name are you looking for?"

"Oh. No one. It's really not important."

"Well what's your name?"

"Miles." I contemplate giving a fake name but, being as far as I am nobody would know. Plus, saying my name is Miles, and not Pudge, sometimes feels fake.

"Miles, as in miles away from home?"

"Haha, uh yeah."

"That was a joke but, you do seem lost. Are you from Culver Creek?"

"How did you know?"

"I used to go there so I recognized your crest." She points to the iron-on patch on my backpack, I feel like an idiot.

"Oh, right. Yeah I'm just taking the day off."

"Don't have to explain to me. I know the Eagle can be tough sometimes. I won't act like I never skipped out on a class or two."

"Yeah." She smiles at me and I suddenly can't help it. Thinking about The Eagle and Alaska just makes me feel panicked. I just want to run. I feel tears welling up and I try to walk away but something makes me freeze. I turn back and face Lucy to tell her thank-you but, she's already walking toward another customer. Then, before I can think better of it I'm out the door with the sunglasses still on my head.

It's not long before I decide to turn around. My fight is useless. Alaska is a girl who was never meant to be found.

"ALASKAAA…WHERE ARE YOU?! MOTHERFUCKING ALASKAAA!" It comes out as more of a moan than a scream at first. I hear it in my head and feel it vibrate in my lungs. I don't know if I've been screaming for long when a man in a passing car, honks and flips me off.

I ran out of money for a cab and walked almost halfway back. I'm exhausted and my vision is a blur but, I finally make my way to the front door. I can see two figures standing just inside the doorway. I can't meet their eyes but, I know it's Takumi and The Colonel. I keep walking.

Later that night I sat feeling alone and empty. My mission had failed and I had failed myself and more importantly, Alaska. I pull myself out of bed and out to the hall. I need to be with her. I walk softly along the wall and as I inch closer to the door my palms start to sweat. "There's no way it's open" I think to myself. I twist the knob and to my disbelief, nobody has bothered to lock the door. Her room seems brighter than my own somehow. I look around for any sign of her being there. There's a half full carton of cigarettes on the floor by her bedside. I pick it up and pulled one out. I let it slide in between my fingers and lifted it to my mouth. I put it between my lips and let it sit for a while. I closed my eyes and laid back on her bed. It smelled like her, so much so it made my stomach turn. I am suddenly reminded of who I am and why I am there. I can't help but cry and soon I am in a deep sleep.


End file.
